Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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