My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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