Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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