Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
