Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
