you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
two words: eviction party
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am available for nakedness
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
