i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
