dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
