Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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