their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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