Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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