my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
