they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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