just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
