Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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