I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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