Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
