Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.