oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
