Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
