I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
