it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
