i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
