as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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