Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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