What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
