I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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