yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
