I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
