Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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