batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
