Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
