we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
