what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
