I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
