my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
