Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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