she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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