I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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