okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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