I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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