I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
