he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
