yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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