They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
