They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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