Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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