Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hippo gnu deer
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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