I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
