We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
