Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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