just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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