its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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