did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
