The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
