First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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