I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
worst night to have a conscience
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
