2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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