You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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