I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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