Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We need to rekindle our bromance
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Panties = found
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
