This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize