I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
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