he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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