So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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