do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
