Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
